timing.

Timing is everything..

More recently I have been stripped of so many things that i have found comfort or security in, each in this same season of my life, and the precise timing of it all shows me that he is clearly speaking some type of new season into my life.
And it's not just the feeling of loss that makes this timing stand out to me. it's the simple fact and reminder of how he is the ultimate orchestrator. he orchestrates in such a beautiful and perfect way that it can not help but to grab my attention.

because in every season, we as humans, are weak.. and we continue to seek comfort. And the more comfortable we become in our lives and our daily routines, the easier it is to find some type of security in our relationships or jobs or surroundings.. and i sometimes feel like whenever i get to that place.. where everything begins to become a little comfortable.. well, He looks at me with this compassionate heart of his and reminds me that i wasn't created to be comfortable. That i was created to move and change and continue to see him in new and abounding ways in each season. That He is meant to be our only constant. our only security. And although change initially sets in some type of fear.. it's in the change where he can be found. it's in the change where he can provide. it's in the change where He is Abba.


And the more accustom i am to knowing and receiving all of this change.. i realize that it's not just change. it's progression. the progression of God in us. And while he is not changing, and his character is unchanging.. His spirit is one that is not controlled. His spirit is one that is alive and moving and completely progressive. pushing us to progress and progress and progress as individuals. to never stand still and be tamed by our surroundings and our society. to become more like Him.
that sweet spirit.. continues to push me and show me the freedom that is within my reach. the freedom and new awareness that awaits in the coming season. And by releasing me from the continuing obligations and the absolute trust i was starting to believe could be found in so many of my relationships.. he screams to me, Caroline. I Am. I Am your Abba. I Am your footing. your ground. your peace. your freedom. your world. and if "everything" else gets stripped away.. I Am still Abba Father to you.


i am grateful for the change. and the push that brings discomfort. because in this discomfort.. he is the only thing that makes sense.

currently listening: vito's ordination song by sufjan stevens
"..rest in my arms
sleep in my bed
there is a design
to what i did and said.."